My Unexpected Niche: A Male Psychotherapist Supporting Men's Mental Health

Male Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) shares a few lessons from working with men facing their mental health challenges

Coming from a spiritual care background, where the majority of folks coming to me for counselling were female, I was not prepared for the large number of male clients coming to me to support their mental health. While we're seeing progress in mental health advocacy around the globe, men's mental health often receives less attention. Many men face unique challenges that affect their emotional well-being, but stigma and societal expectations can prevent them from seeking help. This post explores the realities of men's mental health, the barriers they face, and practical ways I aim, as a male psychotherapist, to support men in their journey toward better mental health.

A man sitting alone on a park bench in autumn, reflecting on his thoughts

Why Men's Mental Health Deserves More Attention

Men experience mental health issues at rates comparable to women, but they often do not receive the same level of care or support. According to the World Health Organization, men are less likely to seek help for mental health problems and more likely to die by suicide. This gap highlights the urgent need to understand the specific challenges men face.

Common Mental Health Issues Among Men

• Depression and anxiety: These conditions often go undiagnosed in men because symptoms can appear differently than in women. Men may show irritability, anger, or risk-taking behaviours instead of sadness.

• Substance abuse: Men are more likely to use alcohol or drugs to cope with emotional pain, which can worsen mental health.

• Suicide risk: Men die by suicide at higher rates globally, often linked to untreated mental health conditions and social isolation.

  
  

Barriers That Prevent Men from Seeking Help

Several factors contribute to men's reluctance to talk about their mental health or seek professional support:

• Social expectations: Traditional ideas about masculinity encourage men to be strong, self-reliant, and unemotional. This can make admitting vulnerability feel like failure. Most men are not taught how to name and express their emotions in healthy ways and too often anger is regarded as the only socially acceptable emotion.

• Stigma: Fear of judgment or appearing weak can stop men from opening up about their struggles. Most of my male clients do not have friendships with other men that invite honest and deeper level conversations. Chatting about 'the game' over drinks is quite often the extent of their friendships.

• Lack of awareness: Some men may not recognize the signs of mental illness or understand that help is available.

• Limited access: Men in certain communities or occupations may face practical barriers to accessing mental health services - we are regrettably still far from making mental health treatment affordable and accessible to all!

  
  

How Society Can Support Men's Mental Health

Changing the way society views men's mental health is essential. Here are some ways to create a more supportive environment:

• Promote open conversations: Encourage men to share their feelings without fear of judgment. Campaigns and community programs can help normalize these discussions. Men's self-help groups are making strides in this regard.

• Challenge stereotypes: Highlight diverse examples of masculinity that include emotional expression and seeking help.

• Improve access to services: Provide mental health resources that are tailored to men's needs and available in workplaces, sports clubs, and online platforms.

• Educate families and friends: Loved ones play a key role in recognizing signs of distress and encouraging men to get help.

  
  

How I Try to Help

Men can take active steps to protect and improve their mental well-being. Here are some practical ways I work with my male clients:

• Recognize emotions and develop the language to express them: I help clients to pay attention to feelings and understand that experiencing emotions is natural and healthy. For some, using a tool like the 'Wheel of Emotions' can be helpful as they seek to become more precise in expressing how they feel.

• Explore Patterns & Internal Relationships: Together we'll critically reflect upon your past - from childhood through to today - to help determine possible motivations for life choices and the relationship patterns we so often fall into. Some clients benefit from an Internal Family Systems (IFS) approach where we explore 'parts' or 'emotions' and how they relate within oneself.

• Exploring Values, Determining Goals: What matters most to you? And, conversely, what upsets you like nothing else? These questions can help us determine your core values out of which we set practical goals towards your wellbeing.

• Encouraging healthy habits & stress management: Regular exercise, balanced nutrition, hobbies, and sufficient sleep contribute to mental health in ways we don't often recognize. We will try to come up with a plan that is realistic and works best for you.

• Practice self-awareness: Techniques such as mindfulness, the STOP technique, and other tools can help one to identify the thoughts, feelings, and sensations we experience before thoughtfully choosing a way forward. My aim here is to help you to create a 'little bit of space' between your self and the thought/ feeling you are experiencing so that it does not produce automatic reactive behaviour.

  
  

Real Life Examples

Men who have come to me for support include:

• Survivors of childhood abuse, dysfunctional homes, and other traumas.

• Individuals with late-diagnosed neurodivergence (ADHD, autism) who are looking to make sense of the challenges they've experienced throughout their lives.

• Men struggling in their relationships. Often these struggles relate to the shame they feel over their perceived 'failures' and their inability to be completely honest with their partners. This often results in angry outbursts or deceptions that sabotage relationships with their partners and kids.

• Those struggling with addictive behaviours that tend to mask unnamed pain - often from the sense of not being 'enough.'

  
  

I hope these examples can help you to see that you are not alone in your struggles and that there is help out there for you! It's never too late to make the changes you need to live the life you want.

Final Thoughts on Supporting Men's Mental Health

I didn't expect that the majority of the clients coming to me would be men - though I really shouldn't have been surprised. Most people seek therapists they can relate to - and many men simply feel more comfortable coming to a male therapist. I certainly don't have all the answers, but I look to draw from the lessons I've learned through continuous study, working with diverse clients, and my own mental health journey to support each client I am privileged to come to know.